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In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice.
Michael Reagan
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971
Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
Thank you, Letters of Note, for sharing this incredibly prescient tidbit.
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A big subject of contention in my life is my job. I work 60 hours a week, for less than minimum wage. I deal with clueless customers who are often surprised by my perfect greeting, as I am often complimented, sometimes chastised, on my well-rehearsed voice. Sometimes I think we lose call volume because I sound like an answering machine. Hah! It shall be no more, tonight was a successful night of Trixbox PBX goodness, our entire system is on the first run using the IVR answering. I digress.
My job sucks. I earn $5/hr, working what is supposed to be 60 hours a week, but is slowly dwindling downward. The stress of paying rent, utilities, and heaven forbid taxes on such a budget is indomitable: I can't imagine adding insurance and gas to this, when I get a car up and running. The love of my life chastises me for it, and I can't tell her enough how much I really do hate it. I do not have a working car, and I do not yet have insurance to provide the DMV with proof that I do have insurance, so I don't have a license. There are fast food places within walking distance, surely. Ideally, if I had a car, I could be an on-call Engineer and earn maybe an extra hundred bucks a week. Sure, I earn $33/hr as a consultant, but when business is the equivalent of dysentery on a hot summer day, I earn jack for nothing. Of course, in this scenario, it is difficult to find the finances to afford a car to begin with.
It's hard in these circumstances to even consider such things as school, a degree, or better living conditions. It's devastating to me, my life, my relationships, and everything that cascades on from such. It doesn't help when the doors in my house are left open, dissipating what little heat I've trapped in the kitchen into the other frozen rooms of my apartment. Piles of dirty dishes plague the sink, and I'm never home to wash them. Wait, remind me again why I'm washing someone else's dirty dishes? Oh, that's right - my apartment would be even dirtier if it weren't for the thirty minutes a night I spend after getting home from spending the remainder of my free time with Amber. Of course, directly after, shower and bed. Only to wake in the morning for work at 0800. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday.
If only people were patient, if only I could let them into my world. Unfortunately, I'm expecting a box to be placed on my doorstep any day now, with all of the various items I've gifted out over the past year and a half. There's nothing I can do to stop it, as far as I can tell, except to go work at Subway. I wish I could tell her that it'd be by the grace of God if I got out of that position, once I went there. No, it's not understood. It can't be understood. How long can one love without being loved in return? The sad thing is, it is in both ways. How sick and maniacally twisted is that?
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In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice.
Michael Reagan Manhattan Beach, California June 1971
Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
Thank you, Letters of Note, for sharing this incredibly prescient tidbit.
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In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice.
Michael Reagan Manhattan Beach, California June 1971
Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
Thank you, Letters of Note, for sharing this incredibly prescient tidbit.
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In June of 1971, just days before his 26-year-old son, Michael, got married, future-U.S. President Ronald Reagan sent him the following letter of advice.
Michael Reagan Manhattan Beach, California June 1971
Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
Thank you, Letters of Note, for sharing this incredibly prescient tidbit.
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Yes I am also agreed with this post that “Education must be Open source and Free for all”; there are many potential students who are not able to get proper education because of high Tuition fees. However recently one of my friend got online Life experience degree from his professional Experience , This Good thing which universities have started to offer. You can more info here http://www.usauniversitiesonline.com/degree/awarding-honorary-doctorate-degree/ or you can Google it about online life experience degree.
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The next big +HIRL is coming closer and more and more people are getting excited about that. +Superdave Houdini Meralus is working hard on the lists and is setting up some stuff for us all. Get ready for this big event this March
Austin SXSW PhotoWalk About 300 people have RSVPed! - Details and RSVP here: http://goo.gl/LkaKO (no invite? click goo.gl/RoxQg )
Hangout In Real Life - 3 Steps to get involved ☞ Sign up using the form [ http://goo.gl/TCI8Z ] ☞ View the applicants [ http://goo.gl/8UiW7 ] ☞ Sit and wait as we get the plans underway!
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The next big +HIRL is coming closer and more and more people are getting excited about that. +Superdave Houdini Meralus is working hard on the lists and is setting up some stuff for us all. Get ready for this big event this March
Austin SXSW PhotoWalk About 300 people have RSVPed! - Details and RSVP here: http://goo.gl/LkaKO (no invite? click goo.gl/RoxQg )
Hangout In Real Life - 3 Steps to get involved ☞ Sign up using the form [ http://goo.gl/TCI8Z ] ☞ View the applicants [ http://goo.gl/8UiW7 ] ☞ Sit and wait as we get the plans underway!
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The next big +HIRL is coming closer and more and more people are getting excited about that. +Superdave Houdini Meralus is working hard on the lists and is setting up some stuff for us all. Get ready for this big event this March
Austin SXSW PhotoWalk About 300 people have RSVPed! - Details and RSVP here: http://goo.gl/LkaKO (no invite? click goo.gl/RoxQg )
Hangout In Real Life - 3 Steps to get involved ☞ Sign up using the form [ http://goo.gl/TCI8Z ] ☞ View the applicants [ http://goo.gl/8UiW7 ] ☞ Sit and wait as we get the plans underway!
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The next big +HIRL is coming closer and more and more people are getting excited about that. +Superdave Houdini Meralus is working hard on the lists and is setting up some stuff for us all. Get ready for this big event this March
Austin SXSW PhotoWalk About 300 people have RSVPed! - Details and RSVP here: http://goo.gl/LkaKO (no invite? click goo.gl/RoxQg )
Hangout In Real Life - 3 Steps to get involved ☞ Sign up using the form [ http://goo.gl/TCI8Z ] ☞ View the applicants [ http://goo.gl/8UiW7 ] ☞ Sit and wait as we get the plans underway!
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I like to take a balanced approach, if everyone went with the way the world was turning then we wouldn't be where we are as race today. "Push the envelope and blaze a new path to your destination and along the way you find the treasures that life has hidden away for just such a person."
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For anyone who doesn't know the background on this, Michael was the adopted son of Reagan. Having been born to an unwed mother and abused as a child, he certainly knew better than most of us concerning how difficult life can be. His first marriage following this letter only lasted a year, but as far as I know he is currently happily married to his second wife since 1975.
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Totally with you on that front, +JenX Terrible. There comes a certain naïveté with wholly accepting the machine -- but then again, I think it will allow us to return to the very principle of relying on only oneself to provide for our own life, liberty, and happiness. And that is certainly something better and more esteemed than expecting one's government (or employer, or...) to provide it for you.
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Great article. The thing is, short of field dressing a moose (Ms. Palin doesn't need my help), I can plant a field, shoe a horse, fix dinner fit for a king, make my own clothes and completely take care of myself in virtually every respect. Okay, so I'm not a car mechanic. But when it comes to technology I so love what it brings to my life that sometimes I fancy loading in supplies for a year and not even going out. I'm a home entertainment center. I envy people who know the insides of computers. I'm good with them but i don't have that knowledge and wish I did. Boy do I wish I did.
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+Lisa Way Good point. Capitalism is merely the right to own property. Free Markets, Libertarianism, Austrian Economics, and Right-Anarchism simply have shared ground and tend to go well together, but are importantly different things like Physics, Engineering, or Mathematics.
I think the idea that Capitalism and Self-Ownership are inseparable is a powerful idea that is in the heart of every person that came to the US with NOTHING looking or a better life. Too bad so many people born here don't understand that.
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Between work, my social life, and training, I play a game called EVE Online. It's the first game I've ever shelled out a monthly fee for, and it's well worth it. I came across this fan-made video for one of the in-game factions on CrazyKinux's blog.
Full screen this and play it in HD, while keeping in mind that this is made entirely of recorded gameplay video.
I'm the director of a group of players (called a "Corporation" as opposed to "Guild" in other MMORPGs), and if you're interested in playing with me, shoot me a line or message me in game as "Baeryn". You'll never find a game so perfect.
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Christmas time is here! The incessant Christmas music on the radio, the lights around this quiet little town, the music played over the speakers on main street, and the greenery and otherwise unusual happiness of the general populous. The best time of the year, many say - I can see why. I just hope the radio music doesn't wear thin on me too soon...
I'm getting over my sinus infection, with only a minor headache right now. Church went extraordinary, and life (as of right now) is good. Earlier this afternoon, Amber and I put together a French Meringue for her class at school, which looks absolutely gorgeous. We used an old lace napkin to pattern the surface with a delectable pattern of powdered sugar, and it came out well.
I just cleaned off her computer desk, just on one of those random cleaning spree (read: obsessive compulsive) things. I sorted her father's CDs, to much satisfaction. We also raked the yard... and now we're decorating her house. Well, they are - I'm cleaning up her father's computer now, too. What a day!
Spats lost!? I feel that he deserved the win, but that's not what the judge determined. I'm glad that Kouketsu took care of those flames in the "who do you think will win" topic, because I don't think I can last much longer dealing with such complete and total disgraces to the ideals of quality text fighting.
GWing seems to be picking up some more, there is a lot of progress being made in the Growth area. Several new moderators (critics...), namely Circ and Dovey, are preparing an awesome system for reviewing authors' submissions. I think I'm going to try and influence Amber to provide SOME input, as it is her forum, and it'd help her to get back into writing.
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Don't forget to stop and admire the sunset every now and again.
Last week, I got the opportunity to stay in a cabin on a remote island and go surf fishing with my father and uncle. We left at 3AM (the morning after Thanksgiving) to make the 7AM ferry, and were fortunate enough to have only light wind and warm sun for our short visit. I captured this awesome sunset after casting my line at the end of the first day.
Even as a boy, this yearly tradition was something I'd look forward to all year. Unfortunately as my schedule became increasingly busy over the past decade, I wasn't able to join in on the often week-long excursion. Now that I'm older and caught up in the #startuplife , I have a new appreciation for the rejuvenating nature of this magical place.
This same island almost claimed my life when I was younger, when the tidal currents at the south point of the barrier island swept our entire fishing party out to sea after I tried to save my younger brother and his friend, who were caught in the violent surf. I don't think I've ever looked at the ocean the same way since, as having to exchange with your father and brother what you all believe is your final “I love you.” is, needless to say, an incredibly illuminating experience.
After being rescued by the coast guard, I insisted on immediately casting my line back into the water in an act of nonchalance (or perhaps more within my character, defiance?) and continue fishing. We were able to return the following year with the memories fresh on our minds, but it wasn't long after that my schedule began to preclude my participation. I'm so glad that I was able to steal away the two days to take a much-needed break and gain some incredible perspective.
Backflipped out of the back of a perfectly good airplane on Sunday, then back to the grind I go. #adventuring
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Don't forget to stop and admire the sunset every now and again.
Last week, I got the opportunity to stay in a cabin on a remote island and go surf fishing with my father and uncle. We left at 3AM (the morning after Thanksgiving) to make the 7AM ferry, and were fortunate enough to have only light wind and warm sun for our short visit. I captured this awesome sunset after casting my line at the end of the first day.
Even as a boy, this yearly tradition was something I'd look forward to all year. Unfortunately as my schedule became increasingly busy over the past decade, I wasn't able to join in on the often week-long excursion. Now that I'm older and caught up in the #startuplife , I have a new appreciation for the rejuvenating nature of this magical place.
This same island almost claimed my life when I was younger, when the tidal currents at the south point of the barrier island swept our entire fishing party out to sea after I tried to save my younger brother and his friend, who were caught in the violent surf. I don't think I've ever looked at the ocean the same way since, as having to exchange with your father and brother what you all believe is your final “I love you.” is, needless to say, an incredibly illuminating experience.
After being rescued by the coast guard, I insisted on immediately casting my line back into the water in an act of nonchalance (or perhaps more within my character, defiance?) and continue fishing. We were able to return the following year with the memories fresh on our minds, but it wasn't long after that my schedule began to preclude my participation. I'm so glad that I was able to steal away the two days to take a much-needed break and gain some incredible perspective.
Backflipped out of the back of a perfectly good airplane on Sunday, then back to the grind I go. #adventuring
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Don't forget to stop and admire the sunset every now and again.
Last week, I got the opportunity to stay in a cabin on a remote island and go surf fishing with my father and uncle. We left at 3AM (the morning after Thanksgiving) to make the 7AM ferry, and were fortunate enough to have only light wind and warm sun for our short visit. I captured this awesome sunset after casting my line at the end of the first day.
Even as a boy, this yearly tradition was something I'd look forward to all year. Unfortunately as my schedule became increasingly busy over the past decade, I wasn't able to join in on the often week-long excursion. Now that I'm older and caught up in the #startuplife , I have a new appreciation for the rejuvenating nature of this magical place.
This same island almost claimed my life when I was younger, when the tidal currents at the south point of the barrier island swept our entire fishing party out to sea after I tried to save my younger brother and his friend, who were caught in the violent surf. I don't think I've ever looked at the ocean the same way since, as having to exchange with your father and brother what you all believe is your final “I love you.” is, needless to say, an incredibly illuminating experience.
After being rescued by the coast guard, I insisted on immediately casting my line back into the water in an act of nonchalance (or perhaps more within my character, defiance?) and continue fishing. We were able to return the following year with the memories fresh on our minds, but it wasn't long after that my schedule began to preclude my participation. I'm so glad that I was able to steal away the two days to take a much-needed break and gain some incredible perspective.
Backflipped out of the back of a perfectly good airplane on Sunday, then back to the grind I go. #adventuring
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Don't forget to stop and admire the sunset every now and again.
Last week, I got the opportunity to stay in a cabin on a remote island and go surf fishing with my father and uncle. We left at 3AM (the morning after Thanksgiving) to make the 7AM ferry, and were fortunate enough to have only light wind and warm sun for our short visit. I captured this awesome sunset after casting my line at the end of the first day.
Even as a boy, this yearly tradition was something I'd look forward to all year. Unfortunately as my schedule became increasingly busy over the past decade, I wasn't able to join in on the often week-long excursion. Now that I'm older and caught up in the #startuplife , I have a new appreciation for the rejuvenating nature of this magical place.
This same island almost claimed my life when I was younger, when the tidal currents at the south point of the barrier island swept our entire fishing party out to sea after I tried to save my younger brother and his friend, who were caught in the violent surf. I don't think I've ever looked at the ocean the same way since, as having to exchange with your father and brother what you all believe is your final “I love you.” is, needless to say, an incredibly illuminating experience.
After being rescued by the coast guard, I insisted on immediately casting my line back into the water in an act of nonchalance (or perhaps more within my character, defiance?) and continue fishing. We were able to return the following year with the memories fresh on our minds, but it wasn't long after that my schedule began to preclude my participation. I'm so glad that I was able to steal away the two days to take a much-needed break and gain some incredible perspective.
Backflipped out of the back of a perfectly good airplane on Sunday, then back to the grind I go. #adventuring
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It's been a crazy past couple weeks for me. I've been training up for my next fight (AFL 1, May 17, 2008 Elizabeth City, NC) and staying pretty busy at work. In other news, The Grand Tournament 2008 invitations were sent out, and RolePlayGateway will be hosting the event. I had a blast at the SEO - What You Need To Know Meetup in Raleigh, and met some great people (hi Ashley!), and got connected with the upcoming Advanced SEO Meetup (which I'm really looking forward to, Brian - sorry I missed the first one!).
Two of my friends passed away this past week, Brittany Custer and Chelsea Johnson, in two separate events. It's so sad - both of these girls had an entire life ahead of them.
A few of my friends have also had recent losses, all very devastating in their own way. I don't think you can possible hope to truly offer solace during times like these, but that is no reason to attempt to provide support and care for their loss.
It's a very polarizing view compared to what we often feel - especially looking at the age at which people pass away. With Cyclone Nargis and the China Earthquakes, there's a lot of pain in the world right now. It really makes you wake up out of whatever jaded state you're in and realize that hey, you're human. You're in this with the rest of us, regardless of how much hate you think you have.
I'm not participating in the elections this year. Full stop.
It's not that I don't feel like I can make a difference - it's that I refuse to be involved in what's going to happen next. I'll make my mark in my own way, this year. And hey, on a semi-related note, let me introduce you to an independent documentary (which means do your research to verify any of this) that I thoroughly recommend you sit down for 2 hours and watch. Two hours, give it your full attention.
All of that aside, let's all remember that we're in this together, like I said before. We need to be loving and supporting each other, through all of our trying times. Grow roots so that you might be able to nourish and feed others in their times of need, as we must do this in favor of our own health. (See The Golden Rule, figure 1.1)
For everyone who has lost someone, remember that everything has a cause and effect. You are still here and play a part in the effect of your loss - it is up to you to determine how you learn from and use the experiences you shared with this person. Be joyous and put these experiences to positive use, sharing and growing in their spirit.
Take refuge amongst your own family and friends - just as you have been there for them, they will be there for you.
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